I just... ...ugh

     Ok so. The last few days have certainly been strange. Well...I'd say the last week or so has been...less than desirable. Join me on this adventure, won't you? (Ugh...that makes no sense...whatever.)

     Ok so stupid shit blahdy blah. If you follow me on Twitter (@marvincomedy! Come aboard!) and you're reading this in April of 2013, chances are you saw my mildly exasperated and crazily "sit-com"-esque story. Ok so this girl I've found myself attracted to for the last couple years (hereafter known as Katrina...for that is her name) is now single. To be blunt, I sent an excited text to my best friend Whitney along the lines of "SHE'S SINGLE! KATRINA IS SINGLE! TO QUOTE RAFIKI, "IT IS TIME!" Well the problem is that I had the INTENTION of sending it to Whitney but instead accidentally sent it to Katrina due to a mental lapse of sorts. Well she texted back like "lol I've been single for a while now" and she said she'd been single for two weeks. To avoid any confusing signals I decided to be truthful and tell her that I meant to send the text to someone else and the awkward just inflated to bouncy castle proportions. She texted back with "oh!" and then "So how bout them Colts" and I responded with an awkward answer that was kind of jokey to try and clear the air. Something like "Oh you know...football and stuff" and she told me she was going to bed and that she would talk to me later. So like...I guess it could've been much worse. She wasn't disgusted by the aspect but like...it was just plain awkward. Although a great story for later. The only thing I dislike is that we haven't talked since. But I think it won't be too bad. I might want to try and smooth stuff over here in a few days.

     But the thing is like...I'm not even sure I want to date Katrina. Well...I'm not FULLY sure anyway. Like she's fun and super pretty and just my type but I've found myself falling into the trap of falling for my best friend. Namely, the previously mentioned Whitney. Like...I seriously have a deeper affection for her than I think I've had for anyone else. Which really sucks because she's one of my absolute best friends and I don't wanna mess it up but just like...holy...effing....damn. Yeah, it's kinda like that.

     Now to move on to deeper matters. I had quite the existential episode yesterday. I got into an argument with my mom over 6 dollars because of lunch which evolved into us arguing over me helping out with money in general (which I admittedly have not really done very well but decided to since improve) which THEN moved into me sitting in my computer chair, on the verge of crying, telling my mom and brother how I feel like I'm the lowest on the totem pole and can't get any respect and basically how incredibly afraid I am of growing up because I'm trying to be an adult (as I am 20 as of writing this) but I still feel like a kid. I mean c'mon, I have Pokemon curtains. I am not ashamed. I just like video game and cartoon shit. For example from 'lack of family respect' category, my cousin called me a "man-child" because I watched Regular Show and then Justice League on Netflix. To put it in perspective, he's 17 and home schooled. Don't get me wrong, he's arguably my favorite cousin and a great kid, but he's very much the typical member of my family who puts too much stock into owning a diesel truck and believes being an adult means basically living a country song. (Which is ironic because he plays WoW all the time. Who knows, he could be going through the same thing as I am. It'd make sense. But that's all purely speculative.) But like, I should be treated more like an adult than my other cousin who is 23. Sure I'm living at home but I'm in my second year of college. He's 23, has a wife and kid, and is living with his wife in his parents' basement and doesn't contribute like...at all. He also gets really shitty with my aunt and uncle a lot, which has been pretty par for the course for him for as long as I can remember. So yeah...that's a thing.

     Then we have today. Today some asshole (or assholes as it still has not been confirmed. Again, future people, remember that I'm writing this on 4/15/2013) decided to detonate bombs at the Boston Marathon. And instead of everyone coming together, and there are quite a few, a lot of them are just spewing hate. Take this one asshole by the name of Erik Rush. He's an African American, Conservative writer and anchor for the societal shitstain that is Fox News. He tweeted that we need to quit letting Saudi's (because someone who is apparently a Saudi Arabian national is being held at a guarded hospital for burns) in the country without background checks and that all Muslims are terrorists and we should "Kill them all." I guess it just goes to show that ignorance and stupidity are not locked in my racial or any other type of background. It's just as bad that people are trying to counter him but many are simply cussing him out while he simply calls them "muzzie loving vermin" and "pussies." It just...it just saddens me that a terrible tragedy could take place on our soil and our own people are fighting because in this day of modern technology the ignorant who are normally loud have an even louder voice over Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube. I suppose the best course of action is to ignore these people and hope that they only are heard by those that agree and eventually are only yelling into a mirror because they're the only ones who'll listen to their own bullshit. Unfortunately fear and ignorance go hand-in-hand so I have the horrible feeling that this will not go away any time soon.

     Lesson for the future. There are a lot of horrible people in this world right now. Fox News, the Westboro Baptist Church, Al Qaeda, Kim-Jong Un, and just downright awful people (like Justin Bieber and Chris Brown) will always think they're more important than everyone else. Luckily there are also good people. People who stand up for good, and honesty, and understanding. We all come to a point where we wonder what type of person we want to be. All I ask is that you be the type of person who a 5 year-old version of you would want to be like. Try to decrease how much everything sucks. Also if you don't know what something is, for the love of all that is good in the world just look it up before you make yourself look like an idiot.

To quote the great philosophers Bill and Ted, "Be excellent to each other."

"Party on dudes."