I pretty much have no social life. I know, I know another one of those stories again. Sometimes it can't be helped when I've come to a realization that i'm pretty sure I knew all along but never thought about. The reason for my homebody anti-social nature essentially stems from my upbringing. More specifically my mother. It was clear when I was a little kid that I was very social. I loved being around people and making jokes and just having fun. My mom, on the other hand, was very overprotective with me and my brother to the point where she wouldn't really let us spend the night with people who weren't family. Luckily I've had a strong will and managed to squeeze two friends into my life that I've actually hung out with. They've been my best friends for the last 11 years now. Even then my mom was extremely reluctant to let me spend the night at their houses like I was going to walk into their kitchen and get killed by an assassin or be kidnapped by them. (I'm not joking. )
My brother doesn't mind this, as I'm pretty sure that he wouldn't give a crap if he didn't have to even talk to people at times but at others he can be social. However he never hangs out with anyone outside of times when he's at school or work. At home he just stays in his room watching Whose Line is it Anyway on his laptop while i'm sitting here listening to music and going insane from cabin fever. Sure i go for bike rides and go to the park and enjoy the fresh air but i feel so odd when i'm by myself. Either i feel stupid being alone or i'm paranoid that someone's watching me (thanks mom!)
Now my senior year fast approaches and what do I have to show for it? The only pictures with myself in a group of friends that I ever find on Facebook are all school related (either through band or otherwise) and never just hanging out with people. This lack of sociality in my life is really my only regret now that I think of it (besides asking out a few girls that made me feel like a fool when they rejected me, and not asking out a few that I really should've) I just don't want to look back on my life as everyone else says "man those were the best days of my life with all my friends" while i just sigh and say "well i managed to beat Resident Evil 4 and Pokemon Soul Silver"
The saddest thing about all this is that through my originally forced isolation (well i felt it was forced. after all it was indoctrinated to me when i was seven although i did all i could to counter it) i grew up to not mind it. It has now reached the point where I don't care whether or not I go to the extremely rare party that i actually get invited to. I'm making attempts to hang out with people but we've all reached the age where we're busy all the time looking for colleges, working, and other vital activities to start our adult lives. So basically i spent my entire childhood and adolescent years inside the house. What a life eh? "Well it kept you out of trouble" Heh i hear this all the time and think about it too. Like having a little social interaction outside home or school is going to make me a drug addicted, serial killer. Don't insult me with such mindless drivel then applaud my intelligence.
no one's even reading this so why bother? a grand total of two people know about this blog because i dont notify my friends via facebook because my parents, brother, and other family would just give me crap without actually listening to what i have to say. Plus nobody wants to hear me complain about my life anyway. All comedy, that's me. Well here ya go kids. For reading the stupid trivial bull crap of someone who would like to blame others for his way of life when he could've changed it all a long time ago, a bit of humor to balance out your day
Here's a quote i found : I told the doctor that I broke my leg in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.
That is all for now everyone. ...Yeah
June 18, 2010
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