Some More Jokes

I Said that! : Ok so you're in class and having open discussion. You're teacher asks a question and you say the answer, teacher doesn't hear you so you say it a little louder, all of a sudden the douchebag sitting two rows behind you yells the answer and the teacher compliments him/her (and quite possibly gives them a treat ;] ) for their answer that they heard from you. Then instantly you push your books a little and throw your hands up in disgust. During your minor fit of rage it is a required custom that you severely exaggerate the amount of time it has been since you said it or the number of times you said it. Examples include "I said that like 25 times!" or "I said that like 10 years ago" But sadly you're teacher doesn't believe you and the person simply smiles smugly at you as if to say "HA! stole your answer jerk!"

Umbrella Confusion: I think of random things while at work but the most crazy thought that popped into the ol' noggin of mine was the question : "What if Mary Poppins and the Penguin from Batman accidentally switched jobs since they both use umbrellas as their main source of transport or business?" What can i say there have been a lot of slow days. But think about it. A father tells his unruly kids that he's had all he can stand and that he's getting them a nanny, but instead of the whimsical Mary Poppins they get the murderous Penguin. He just starts blowin stuff up and threatens to eat their dog if they dont behave. The kids behave like angels from then on but now only have half their home and must run his political campaign.

The more interesting aspect of this, however, is the opposite end of the spectrum. That's right kids your favorite nanny in the great Gotham city. Batman and Robin are sent to pick her up because she is shoving spoonfuls of sugar down the mouths of children. They take her back to the Batcave because of the terrible misunderstanding that she was only trying to help kids in taking their necessary medicene and they have a nice chat. Miss Poppins does point out, though, that it is improper and dangerous for a grown man and a fifteen year old boy to be running on the rooftops battling dangerous villains and the dynamic duo admit she's right and leave the crime fighting to the police. They all share a laugh then hear Alfred throw a tray of tea and cookies on the ground before he storms up to the them and says " I SAID THAT LIKE 500 TIMES" and mary poppins simply smiles at him ever so smugly.

Some Jokes

Girl scouts = tactical snipers :Girl Scouts are tactical snipers. Seriously. Think about it, you go into the store thinking "ok just gettin some milk, butter, and eggs" and you look around and give the all clear signal to your buds that came with you. All of a sudden when you're makin your way in *BAM BAM* "would you like some cookies?" then they get one of your friends and you're just like " THEY GOT FRANK!!! MOVE MOVE MOVE!"

Teacher's Pets : Teachers are starved for kids that will actually participate in class. So much to the point that they offer candy to anyone that raises their hand and gives a correct answer. Picture a classroom where this practice takes place.

Teacher: Ok class what's the square root of 64?

Student raises hand and whines in excitement

Teacher: C'mon boy, c'mon speak.

Student: -whines more while thinking of the answer-

Teacher dangles candy in the air: Speeeeak...

Student: 8!

Teacher gives the candy while student smiles in self satisfaction : good boy.