My Thoughts on Recent Stories of Bullying

For future reference this post was written at 12:30 AM on Oct. 18th, 2012.

     A girl by the name of Amanda Todd has been in the news recently. It was reported that she exposed herself via webcam, someone got a hold of it, and put the pictures on Facebook and enacted other forms of social misconduct with them. This girl received so much hate for this action that she committed suicide.

     There have been many suicides related to "bullying" in the past year or two now that we didn't see in recent years; even in the 2000's. How could a phenomenon like this have occurred in the most recent days of society? Let's examine what's going on right now. Social media is at its strongest point ever. One wrong move and your mistakes can be spread to anyone, anywhere, and at anytime.

     I've seen people some would consider my 'generation' or 'contemporaries' act like they can do no wrong. They believe their every action is justified no matter how detrimental it may be to themselves or someone else. These people are the guys who wear polos with popped collars and sideways hats, girls who tan excessively and emulate the actions of Jersey Shore cast members such as Snooki and J-Wow, and people who are in the hip-hop society that make use of the god-awful slang term "swag" and wear shirts that say "obey." These people have no regard for proper spelling and gladly share their exploits. (Quite honestly it's hard NOT to see them as they are often times the loudest in both voice and color of clothing).

     But here's the kicker. The generation that is the most hard-headed, self-entitled, bratty, rude, douchey, and holier-than-thou bunch is also (ironically) the most sensitive. Let that sink in a moment.

     Most of the time they don't care and bounce of constructive criticisms with a "yolo" shield but when you really drive the nail down, you're hurting their feelings and then you are the one made out to be the villain because you're all of a sudden bullying or cyber-bullying depending on the form of media.

     Quite the dichotomy isn't it? We've reached a point where kids/teens/young adults are either extremely stubborn and act like jackasses, or are SUPER sensitive to the point when they can't take one thing being said to them. Granted I was sensitive as a child and still am somewhat. If someone says the right thing to me it can tear me to the very core. But what did/do I do to cope? I spent time with friends, I played video games, I watched movies, I got my feelings down in words, and most of the time I either ignored them or used their ridicule as inspiration to make myself better to show them how great I really was. And quite frankly it worked.

But you'll never hear that on a PSA or internet ad campaign.

     The bleeding heart crusaders are too focused on pointing the blame and fighting a 'war on bullying' much like Nancy Reagan and people in the 80's started a 'war on drugs'. The connection to these two aspects is fairly striking in that drugs are still around and aren't going away any time soon; much of the same can be said of bullying. Granted it is a noble cause, I don't like bullies and would love a world where nobody bullied anyone, however it's an extremely lofty goal that is quite frankly nigh impossible.

     Bullying isn't going away. We've had all these campaigns and yet it remains and the kids still resort to self harm and suicide. The key here is teaching kids how to deal with bullying and I haven't seen NEARLY as much of that around as I have all the efforts to somehow stop people from being assholes. As long as you have kids that are acting out because of troubles at home, or are masking insecurities or are simply rich brats with a raging superiority complex; you're going to have bullies and bullying.

     If by chance you're reading this and you're a kid/teen/anyone being bullied for whatever reason, know my sympathies are with you. If you're looking for coping mechanisms, refer to my above statements. Novelist/Vlogger John Green once talked about the key to a happy and successful life being doing what you love and surrounding yourself with people that you can "make cool stuff" with.

     If you're a bully, then either get whatever help you may need OR simply quit being a little dickwad/twat and get your shit together. Taking it out on someone else isn't going to make you feel better in the long run. It's only going to remove one or more people from the list of those you could be doing good things with.

     Also, giving criticism (however dickish it may come across) is NOT the same as bullying. A bully is a person/a group of people who HABITUALLY intimidates/belittles people. This can be through verbal or physical means. The term has been, in my view, diminished in value as people throw it out left and right at the first sign of someone hurting their feelings.

     On the topic of LGBT bullying, be proud of yourself and what you are. It baffles me that there can still be so many affected by bullying when being part of the community you're in is more accepted in society now more than ever. Same going with people of all races and religions. I'm straight, white, and male and I'm proud of that fact because it's how I was born and it's who I am. There's no sexism, racism, or anti-gay sentiment behind that. I literally am proud of who I am, and you should be too.

     One of the biggest issues I have with all of these stories and the situations of bullying in general (and my final point since this is long enough) is the issue of PERSONAL ACCOUNTABILITY!!!!!

     I know the internet is mostly anonymous. However, you don't have to put EVERYTHING about yourself online. Mostly because somethings are better left in private and partially because there are some things that nobody cares about. Also, I don't mean the personal accountability to be just the youngens here. Parents, get your stuff together as well. I know it's thrown out there a lot and you all hate it but the parents need to ACTUALLY GET FRICKING INVOLVED! If you're too "busy" or you don't care enough to know when your child is on the brink of suicide, then you don't deserve to have them. Plain and simple. It's so easy to throw the hot potato of blame at everything else but at the end of the day you're just an awful parent. Same goes for absent parents and uncaring parents that LEAD to kids becoming bullies. Nobody's born a bully, there are factors in a child's development that lead to the behaviors/ the positive reinforcement of that behavior.

     So be proud of yourself. Don't be a bully. Know the difference between pride and arrogance and don't be afraid of taking criticism and especially don't confuse it with bullying. If you're being bullied, talk to someone. There is ALWAYS someone positive to talk to especially your parents if possible because, if they're anything like mine, they will straight-up go to war for you. If your parents aren't around, talk to school counselors, teachers, religious officials, friends or whomever you find to be a respectable person you'd like to emulate that you fully trust and will bring you up. And if you are able to overcome bullying and be a better person as a result, pay it forward because one of the best ways to continue to be successful is by bringing others up with you. (Shout out to Philly DeFranco for that last statement). Ultimately, use hardship as a means to better yourself. You'll feel fantastic and it'll get rubbed in your bullies' faces so hard by karma it'll tickle you pink.