It's frustrating when you're trying to have a conversation with someone yet you feel like you can't say anything that doesn't seem to rub them the wrong way. Seriously. I've never heard of Falling in Reverse OR Escape the Fate. Not my fault. It's just not my style of music. I listen to 90's music, 80's rock, jazz, and most of all Ska. I listened to Falling in Reverse's new song and thought it was pretty good. So I figured I'd tell you. Well apparently the lead singer used to be in Escape the Fate. That means approximately (555x555)(0) to me. I'm so sorry you're ashamed to call me one of your good friends because I don't know your favorite band. (I don't even care if it was a joke like it most likely was.) You change it every 3 weeks. Last I heard it was Avenged Sevenfold, then Black Veil Brides. All of which you didn't become a fan of until you liked some guy from Chicago whom you've only talked to via electronic device.
Question. How many of MY favorite bands do you know? Thought so. It's not that hard when I talk about ska and stuff all the time. But you've never had a crush on me so I guess that's why.
You're so fake. I wish I could tell you but I won't. Because I deep down I still have some feelings for you and want to do anything to make you happy even though I know we'll never actually go out and I don't really want to go out with you all that much anyway (it dwindles every second). Pretty pathetic eh? It doesn't hurt that your sister feels like a little sister to me and, thus, I want to keep you happy so i can still be able to spend time with her.
It really sucks. Believe me I wish I could say all this right to you. Put it in a little envelope sealed with a sparkly sticker and just be done with it. I'm too passive-aggressive for that though. I'd rather try to bait you into a trap by talking about my favorite band just to call you out on 'being a close friend yet you aren't even aware of my favorite band.' Now THAT'S pathetic.
I honestly don't know why I even try anymore. I only like you because you like final fantasy, you're fun to be around, you're honestly gorgeous and my mom despises you. I guess I've always had trouble trying to make things as cut and dry as I want them to be. I can never just like someone or dislike someone. I always have to find some redeeming quality in everyone. I guess I should've just not commented on that wall post last summer. We were better friends when we weren't talking to each other and I didn't let stupid little crushes turn me into a little puppy who always wanted to be around you. I made that mistake before and almost lost a friend. It's only by luck and her good graces that she's a better friend to me than virtually everyone else.
I know I shouldn't get this angry over a 10 comment conversation from a link to a music video for a mediocre band that doesn't sound bad but isn't anything special. But it definitely builds up after a while.
It's really funny how I've put all this work into being your friend and trying to get you to like me whereas there's a girl whom I've only known since prom that I think might just dig me. And if she doesn't at least I know she likes stuff because SHE likes it. She knows I'm not a scene-ish guy who has his hair in front of his eyes. I'm not super thin and I prefer to wear properly fitting jeans. So what if I prefer my music with a little brass and not so much black makeup? As the great Popeye once said, "I am who I am and that's all that I am."
and I am finished. I'm actually starting to be a fan of myself again. I feel good with myself. Yeah I kind of faltered this past school year in self-confidence but there have been quite a few refreshers and lessons learned in just this one month of summer that's shown me just who I want to be.
No more trying to please everyone else.
I still need to work on my rambling though. and to you two who read this sorry bout that hehe. This started as a rant then became a mild introspective.
snooch to the nooch
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