Junior prom was yesterday. I have to admit I had quite a bit of fun but now I feel like there were some things that I could've done differently or done better. I don't know. I woke up this morning at about 9:30 (5 hours and without an alarm clock which I found to be odd) and I had this nervous feeling in my stomach not quite like nausea but close. I started thinking about last night and some of the things I liked and a few that I got mad at that I found to be purely irrational when I actually mentaly took a step back and thought. My morning started with me punching my pillow trying not to totally go off as I didn't know how else to think about the regrets that I had about the night before and the sadness that I felt that the good time was now over and I was going back to my blase same old crap life. I felt this same way literally one month ago when I got back from Florida. I think it's high time I made some key changes to my life, that's a lot of the problems I have. I make myself out to be this crazy party guy who loves to have a good time but I'm ultimately unsure of myself and even a little shy when the situation presents itself, almost like actual good times catch me off guard. Have I become so used to frustration and tension that I don't know how to react to literal fun?
I was even with some of the best friends that I have but I still felt kind of alone. I'm pretty sure half of my feeling is regret because of some things that I didn't do that I should've done and half is from the usual guilt that I feel when I have fun that occurs for no reason. *sigh* ugh...what's wrong with me?
May 9, 2010
May 2, 2010
A Suit Jacket Can Change the World
Suit jackets are powerful things. The most powerful people wear them (afterall it's not a suit without a jacket) and they can have life changing qualities. I was at my grandparents' house yesterday and just for giggles i asked my grandma if my grandpa had a suit jacket (what can i say, even though i voice very anti-prom sentiments it very well may be fun so i just considered it) she told me where to look but she wasnt sure if he had one that'd fit me. I found 3 of them. A black one, a grayish plaid one (dubbed my Senior Year Sanford and Son jacket) and a blue one. I tried the black one on and it literally fit like it was tailored for me. The sleeves, the length of the jacket, even the width and comfortability. Well this got my grandparents all excited and myself as well and long story short i'm going to prom...in 6 days i must now find a date. Impossible? ...probably. but like Kevin Garnet, anything is possible. And i'm on a boat...not really... i am however extreeeemely crafty when i need to be so i'll just have to turn the meter to 11 and hope for the best.
April 22, 2010
Whatever Happened...
What happened to not doing something for the sheer reason that you didn't want to? It may just be me but it feels like everyone wants some 5 page disertation on why you dont want to do something when you turn it down. Take, for example, junior prom. My friends asked if I was going to go. I said no. When they asked why I told them that I simply didn't want to but they kept asking me why like I was just blowing them off or something. To be honest it kind of ticked me off a bit so I just caved in and said it was because I didn't have a date. Then everyone told me to go stag which to my family would've been a chump move (I know it's not a big deal nowadays but I come from a quite traditional family and they would pretty much expect me to have a date.) Now the fact that I didn't have a date stemmed from my lack of asking anyone but that's a whoooooooole different topic altogether that delves into a deeper segment of my emotional brain portion that I would much rather not enter at this time.
Well I found the perfect "Why" killer. I started telling people that I didn't have a tux or a suit jacket. "HA! Success!" I thought to myself when I first said it. But these things are never that easy and I fear when using that excuse I may have frustrated a few of my friends.
The real fact of the matter is that I just straight up don't really want to go. Now if a girl were to say, I don't know, ask me to go. Then that would be different as I would probably go. However, again delving slightly into the abyss of my constantly raging storm of a mind, I do not see that happening.
So for now children my plans for May 8th (I think it's May 8th) involve something along the lines of either going to my uncle's house to chill with the cousins on the farm, or play DS and watch all 3 Jurassic Park films. ^_^ Whatever the case the moral of the story is, dont be afraid to just not want to do something. No matter what you're friends say, if you have no reason that satisfies them and your true reason is just sheer lack of interest then just tell them. If they dont like your response that's their problem. You shouldn't have to lie to your friends ever much less not over why you don't want to do something. If they are your real friends they'll simply try to persuade you but ultimately accept your reasoning.
Well I found the perfect "Why" killer. I started telling people that I didn't have a tux or a suit jacket. "HA! Success!" I thought to myself when I first said it. But these things are never that easy and I fear when using that excuse I may have frustrated a few of my friends.
The real fact of the matter is that I just straight up don't really want to go. Now if a girl were to say, I don't know, ask me to go. Then that would be different as I would probably go. However, again delving slightly into the abyss of my constantly raging storm of a mind, I do not see that happening.
So for now children my plans for May 8th (I think it's May 8th) involve something along the lines of either going to my uncle's house to chill with the cousins on the farm, or play DS and watch all 3 Jurassic Park films. ^_^ Whatever the case the moral of the story is, dont be afraid to just not want to do something. No matter what you're friends say, if you have no reason that satisfies them and your true reason is just sheer lack of interest then just tell them. If they dont like your response that's their problem. You shouldn't have to lie to your friends ever much less not over why you don't want to do something. If they are your real friends they'll simply try to persuade you but ultimately accept your reasoning.
March 5, 2010
Some More Jokes
I Said that! : Ok so you're in class and having open discussion. You're teacher asks a question and you say the answer, teacher doesn't hear you so you say it a little louder, all of a sudden the douchebag sitting two rows behind you yells the answer and the teacher compliments him/her (and quite possibly gives them a treat ;] ) for their answer that they heard from you. Then instantly you push your books a little and throw your hands up in disgust. During your minor fit of rage it is a required custom that you severely exaggerate the amount of time it has been since you said it or the number of times you said it. Examples include "I said that like 25 times!" or "I said that like 10 years ago" But sadly you're teacher doesn't believe you and the person simply smiles smugly at you as if to say "HA! stole your answer jerk!"
Umbrella Confusion: I think of random things while at work but the most crazy thought that popped into the ol' noggin of mine was the question : "What if Mary Poppins and the Penguin from Batman accidentally switched jobs since they both use umbrellas as their main source of transport or business?" What can i say there have been a lot of slow days. But think about it. A father tells his unruly kids that he's had all he can stand and that he's getting them a nanny, but instead of the whimsical Mary Poppins they get the murderous Penguin. He just starts blowin stuff up and threatens to eat their dog if they dont behave. The kids behave like angels from then on but now only have half their home and must run his political campaign.
The more interesting aspect of this, however, is the opposite end of the spectrum. That's right kids your favorite nanny in the great Gotham city. Batman and Robin are sent to pick her up because she is shoving spoonfuls of sugar down the mouths of children. They take her back to the Batcave because of the terrible misunderstanding that she was only trying to help kids in taking their necessary medicene and they have a nice chat. Miss Poppins does point out, though, that it is improper and dangerous for a grown man and a fifteen year old boy to be running on the rooftops battling dangerous villains and the dynamic duo admit she's right and leave the crime fighting to the police. They all share a laugh then hear Alfred throw a tray of tea and cookies on the ground before he storms up to the them and says " I SAID THAT LIKE 500 TIMES" and mary poppins simply smiles at him ever so smugly.
Umbrella Confusion: I think of random things while at work but the most crazy thought that popped into the ol' noggin of mine was the question : "What if Mary Poppins and the Penguin from Batman accidentally switched jobs since they both use umbrellas as their main source of transport or business?" What can i say there have been a lot of slow days. But think about it. A father tells his unruly kids that he's had all he can stand and that he's getting them a nanny, but instead of the whimsical Mary Poppins they get the murderous Penguin. He just starts blowin stuff up and threatens to eat their dog if they dont behave. The kids behave like angels from then on but now only have half their home and must run his political campaign.
The more interesting aspect of this, however, is the opposite end of the spectrum. That's right kids your favorite nanny in the great Gotham city. Batman and Robin are sent to pick her up because she is shoving spoonfuls of sugar down the mouths of children. They take her back to the Batcave because of the terrible misunderstanding that she was only trying to help kids in taking their necessary medicene and they have a nice chat. Miss Poppins does point out, though, that it is improper and dangerous for a grown man and a fifteen year old boy to be running on the rooftops battling dangerous villains and the dynamic duo admit she's right and leave the crime fighting to the police. They all share a laugh then hear Alfred throw a tray of tea and cookies on the ground before he storms up to the them and says " I SAID THAT LIKE 500 TIMES" and mary poppins simply smiles at him ever so smugly.
Some Jokes
Girl scouts = tactical snipers :Girl Scouts are tactical snipers. Seriously. Think about it, you go into the store thinking "ok just gettin some milk, butter, and eggs" and you look around and give the all clear signal to your buds that came with you. All of a sudden when you're makin your way in *BAM BAM* "would you like some cookies?" then they get one of your friends and you're just like " THEY GOT FRANK!!! MOVE MOVE MOVE!"
Teacher's Pets : Teachers are starved for kids that will actually participate in class. So much to the point that they offer candy to anyone that raises their hand and gives a correct answer. Picture a classroom where this practice takes place.
Teacher: Ok class what's the square root of 64?
Student raises hand and whines in excitement
Teacher: C'mon boy, c'mon speak.
Student: -whines more while thinking of the answer-
Teacher dangles candy in the air: Speeeeak...
Student: 8!
Teacher gives the candy while student smiles in self satisfaction : good boy.
Teacher's Pets : Teachers are starved for kids that will actually participate in class. So much to the point that they offer candy to anyone that raises their hand and gives a correct answer. Picture a classroom where this practice takes place.
Teacher: Ok class what's the square root of 64?
Student raises hand and whines in excitement
Teacher: C'mon boy, c'mon speak.
Student: -whines more while thinking of the answer-
Teacher dangles candy in the air: Speeeeak...
Student: 8!
Teacher gives the candy while student smiles in self satisfaction : good boy.
November 29, 2009
Well i got my ghosts...
It's funny how quickly things happen after you get set in your opinions on a matter. in my last blog i spoke about how i felt all jaded and blah because the holidays didnt feel special. then black friday happened. black friday is essentially early Christmas for retailers nation and world wide but for me it turned out to mean something more. a lady who seemed to be in her 50's or 60's was in layaway and was upset from the day before when she was treated rudely by an employee (my brother and i saw how he treated her and we agreed that he was way out of line, but that's neither here nor there to the meat of this story) she was additionally upset that one of her layaway boxes couldnt be found in its designated location with everything being bought for her grand-daughter (by everything i mean her entire layaway not just the one box) well after looking for a while it dawned on me that maybe the box didnt get tagged. for these non-tagged boxes Josh decided we should write down the contents of the box that way if a box was missing from a person's order then we could find it by what was in it. well i asked what was in the box and sure enough one of the blank boxes was her box.
Now most people would've just been like "oh cool thanks" but this lady was genuinely greatful that i found her box (so greatful that she literally teared up). now in my jokery personality for the rest of the night i claimed to my co-workers and brother and mom that i "saved Christmas" but as i thought i realized that for one little girl and her grandma i did. That put things into perspective for me as i saw what the holidays were all about. so i got my "three ghosts" in the form of a caring grandmother and my common sense thinking to use the system established by josh. (anyone who says josh technically saved christmas go screw yourself this is MY moment)
...i mean...
Merry Christmas Everybody! ^_^
Now most people would've just been like "oh cool thanks" but this lady was genuinely greatful that i found her box (so greatful that she literally teared up). now in my jokery personality for the rest of the night i claimed to my co-workers and brother and mom that i "saved Christmas" but as i thought i realized that for one little girl and her grandma i did. That put things into perspective for me as i saw what the holidays were all about. so i got my "three ghosts" in the form of a caring grandmother and my common sense thinking to use the system established by josh. (anyone who says josh technically saved christmas go screw yourself this is MY moment)
...i mean...
Merry Christmas Everybody! ^_^
November 26, 2009
Jaded
Jaded- worn out or wearied due by being overworked or overused
My brother told me that he has seen me becoming increasingly jaded in recent time. Not only at the holidays but in everyday life. Today is (was) Thanksgiving. For all but one of my 17 years of life (this year actually) that i can remember i've always woken up on Thanksgiving day to the smell of turkey and the extremely excited feeling in my stomach that people get around any holiday. But today i didnt. i got up, got a shower got dressed etc. then made a bowl of cereal and watched the Macy's parade. no feeling really at all except for the looming countdown until work. WORK!!!! Today was supposed to be a day of giving thanks for all the good things in life like family and freedom and all i can think about is that huge red K and its little gay looking blue lightbulb. A day that has always made me bright and cheery from all the food and togetherness just seemed more dreary than even other days.
It's not just holidays either. I've honestly felt myself getting more and more distant from things i care about and a lot of things that i used to be very adamant toward just seem dry to me. even the nervousness i used to get from asking out a girl is gone (i suppose that could be a plus but its more of 'she's gonna say no so i may as well get it over with') now am i looking for a pity parade? no. do i feel i have the right to complain? not really. after all it can be guaranteed that there are thousands of people worse of than i that didnt even have food today. but i do however feel like i need to get my thought's down into words. it's thereputic in a way.
anyways back on track. Christmas is coming up. And i already know what your thinking "c'mon Levi its CHRISTMAS!!! buck up partner it's impossible to feel bad on christmas" well honestly i'll have to wait and see. i dont even know what to ask for on christmas other than a day off mostly because A: It'll be my only day off without something band related taking the work shifts place and B: I've been so busy that i have no clue what any store has for sale that i might want (even Kmart how ridiculous is that?) so hopefully playing two "Christmas in the Park" gigs will get me in the spirit who knows? either way i'll be saying two words on the last day of school before Winter Break here in a few weeks.
Merry Christmas
or
Bah Humbug
If it's the latter of the two then bring on the ghosts bitches. something tells me that it'd actually help. in the mean time it's now 12:08 AM and i gotta work 1-10 tomorrow. have fun shopping everyone! i know i definitely wont be doing any shopping or fun so more for the rest of all ya dang yall
My brother told me that he has seen me becoming increasingly jaded in recent time. Not only at the holidays but in everyday life. Today is (was) Thanksgiving. For all but one of my 17 years of life (this year actually) that i can remember i've always woken up on Thanksgiving day to the smell of turkey and the extremely excited feeling in my stomach that people get around any holiday. But today i didnt. i got up, got a shower got dressed etc. then made a bowl of cereal and watched the Macy's parade. no feeling really at all except for the looming countdown until work. WORK!!!! Today was supposed to be a day of giving thanks for all the good things in life like family and freedom and all i can think about is that huge red K and its little gay looking blue lightbulb. A day that has always made me bright and cheery from all the food and togetherness just seemed more dreary than even other days.
It's not just holidays either. I've honestly felt myself getting more and more distant from things i care about and a lot of things that i used to be very adamant toward just seem dry to me. even the nervousness i used to get from asking out a girl is gone (i suppose that could be a plus but its more of 'she's gonna say no so i may as well get it over with') now am i looking for a pity parade? no. do i feel i have the right to complain? not really. after all it can be guaranteed that there are thousands of people worse of than i that didnt even have food today. but i do however feel like i need to get my thought's down into words. it's thereputic in a way.
anyways back on track. Christmas is coming up. And i already know what your thinking "c'mon Levi its CHRISTMAS!!! buck up partner it's impossible to feel bad on christmas" well honestly i'll have to wait and see. i dont even know what to ask for on christmas other than a day off mostly because A: It'll be my only day off without something band related taking the work shifts place and B: I've been so busy that i have no clue what any store has for sale that i might want (even Kmart how ridiculous is that?) so hopefully playing two "Christmas in the Park" gigs will get me in the spirit who knows? either way i'll be saying two words on the last day of school before Winter Break here in a few weeks.
Merry Christmas
or
Bah Humbug
If it's the latter of the two then bring on the ghosts bitches. something tells me that it'd actually help. in the mean time it's now 12:08 AM and i gotta work 1-10 tomorrow. have fun shopping everyone! i know i definitely wont be doing any shopping or fun so more for the rest of all ya dang yall
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