Genuinely good days

Today was one. Got a ps2, kingdom hearts 2, and a memory card for 50 bucks. relaxed for the most part of the day.

Then 6:45 came around...

...and Brittany came over! ^__^

Life is...pretty good. I gotta say.

Ok well I SHOULD be working on 1984 related things but well...I do my best work at 1 AM anyway. SO! Let's begin. Today Mr. Heath told me that he sees great things for me in the future. This really means a lot considering he's one of the people I respect the most and he's got a partial swath of my 'who i wanna be when i grow up' space. Needless to say, I kinda needed to hear something like that. I've been kinda down and blah as of late and that really picked me up.

Also I had a really great conversation with mr. Cody Pratt. It really made me remember/realize why he's been my bro these last four years and honestly I don't know what I'd do without him. He's one of the now extremely few people that I'm going to miss when I graduate and it makes me feel good to know that he's going to ISU and i'll get to see him every so often. I seriously haven't had that deep a conversation with any of my other friends save for maaaayyybee Kristan.

Also I may have developed a liking for a girl. Yeah, the guy who just said a few posts ago that the phrase "like" had no meaning to me anymore and that I was only able to be attracted. Well it goes like this. There's a girl that I liked a bit a few years ago by the name of Cheyanne. Her mom has cut my hair since I was like 5 so at least I've known her mom and aunt for like, forever (also her great grandpa is the pastor of the church I would go to if I actually went...yeah...ANYWHOZ!!). She's the first girl that I would actually skip school for haha. Seriously, she said she hurt her foot and that she didn't want to go to her IvyTech orientation alone and I offered to go with her providing nothing important was going on in my classes on wednesday. Really english would be the only thing and even then it's not on a reading day so I'm not sure if I'd miss anything.

Now HERE'S the kicker. (yep. there's always one. don't you know me by now?) So, since her mom's cut my hair for like, forevs. That means (cue thunder and bat sounds) my mom knows her too. My mom and her mom have been trying to hook us up for the longest time now which has dissuaded me from even giving the slightest hint of asking her out. Well mom...I might actually make you happy for once on the 'going out with the girl you want me to' front. I figure even if I do successfully ask out Cheyanne and get the ol' yessaroony, (yessaroony? meh...why not?) I kind of owe it to my mom for crushing her dreams of my unintention of dating miss brittany ferrahrah (I think she finally got the 'I don't wanna mess up the friendship' concept haha) Anyways it's late, I need a shower cuz imma sweaty fat guy, and I still have to print out pictures of Walt Disney and put DOWN WITH THE TRAITOR on them. Ahhh...George Orwell, you are most likely one of my favorite authors simply for the opportunities your novels present. (After all this isn't the one where a pig dresses up like Napoleon so I gotta do somethin!)

;)

Later Peeps.

It's 2:30 Am. I should be in beEFF THAT! WOOHOO!

AAAAAnyways here's some thoughts (one thought will probably lead to the next so BRACE YO SELF!)

• I found out just tonight that my best ideas occur in the shower when I have no writeable surface on which to record, then I forget the idea. All I remember is that I just started freestyle rapping a la Eminem and it was pretty awesome. I recall parts of it so i'll have to write those down and fill in the rest. Future career? Perhaps. (That is future career being white rapper, not writing things down...well...kinda)

• I needed a major so I GOT MAHSELF ONE! Communications = HEEEELLLL YEEEAAHHH!

• Also i've been cussing A LOT lately, but honestly who gives a sh-crap...whatevs.

• I'm patiently waiting for the time to come when the word 'whatever' gets shortened to simply 'tevs' in popular speech.

• Is it possible to be too short to graduate?

• I need vaccines in order to graduate. Seriously as of like March 17th, if they're not done you can't come in the frigging building. I need to be at school. that next day is Indoor State Finals.

• We got recommended by the judges to move up from class 2A to A. That means, if we get bumped up, we'll be competing against Madison Independent. An independent drumline with PATRICK DUONG in its snare line (our lead snare drummer last year. this however would probably be cool) (Editorial note: we did not get promoted. Time to kick some AA booty XP )

• I was sick on friday (going back to vaccines and whatnot) with an ear infection and missed miss Kristan Morris's last day of school. Guess it's good to end high school with how elementary school began. Levi's sick. However the stupid boyhood crush on Kristan is no longer present.

• I can't believe its almost the end of the year. $229 worth of AP exams just so i dont have to take classes in college that would've been paid for through scholarships. Eh I guess it's best to get Econ out of the way. I like the teacher and all but that class was kind of a joke to me. It's an AP course and I got an A+ with nearly 0 effort and absolutely no extra credit work that some people clinged to like it were Joseph.

• People are talking about how they don't know how they will be able to survive without Joseph in college with them. BOOHOO you have to do your own work for a change. Just kidding, you'll find someone to sponge off of when you can be in college and just turn your V Card into a customer care card where "study buddies" get a box of chocolates with every Semester Final. For a few people I know, their professors will be rackin up those points to. (This is just speculation but honestly...I could see it happen. Then again...I'm me. I'm really good at placing anyone or anything in any scenario. It comes with the territory of being creative and inherently scared of darn near everything that involves huge decisions)

• These paragraphs are getting long. Time for THOUGHTS THAT SHOULD'VE BEEN SOONER BUT I DIDN'T THINK OF THEM UNTIL NOW!

• I'd like to see a statistic of just how many people, per day, watch The Breakfast Club.

• Take Me Home Tonight doesn't look like a bad movie but will probably get bad reviews from people who are "professionals" just like Scott Pilgrim did.

• I like my band activities but college will be a nice release from having band every day of the week.

• College will be a nice release from really everything and everyone I've had to deal with the last four years.

• It's amazing how your opinion of someone can change over the course of one school year. From not knowing them, to finding a best friend. From wanting to date them to picturing them being chased by bees every time they say something involving Alabama or marathon running.

• I tend to most often like the girls that are already my best friends and the girls I originally like tend to become my best friends later on.

• I think the term 'like' in dating lost all meaning due to facebook....or when we passed the 7th grade. Yet it still is the only word that means more than attraction but less than crush. Eh, maybe 'like' isn't so bad. It's better than saying "Meh, it's not love at first sight but i'd Thumbs her up and add HER to my Favorites!" Yeeeahhh...that probably wouldn't work.

• My ska band is finally off the ground and nearly 100% prepared for the Battle of the Bands in 3 weeks.

• Every person in my band class will only be able to probably go to the first night of the Revue since the Saturday show, we'll have to miss for Concert Band Organizational Contest. We're going up for State though, so it'l be fun.

• Prom's combined this year. I'll only agree with it if the venue is correct. If not, then I'm inviting 30 people and we're having a party at my house. Informal, with music, and all that other good bullshiz. My mom will agree to it in a heartbeat because she knows with me that Party = Levi will clean the house top to bottom even though there are many places that people won't even see but he's as ocd as she is about cleaning and will clean it anyway.

Um...well that covered about 20 minutes. Not bad...not bad at all. Laters peeps.

Things learned recently.

1. Amazing weekends that are completely guilt free are actually possible
2. Mike Kelsey is a pretty good guitar player although his stuff all starts to sound the same after a while.
3. Whenever there is a string of good vibes, it's good to ride the wave. Just don't press your luck too much or you'll crash into a reef.
4. Don't give second thoughts to biznitches that you're only going to have to deal with for literally 24 more days. (as of today. today being the 23rd of Feb)
5. Even when you haven't seen your best friend in 6 months, when you finally get to be with them everything picks up like you just saw them yesterday.
6. Everything's going to be juuuuust fine. I can feel it.
=)

Rune Reading interpretation and diagnosis

Ok well I don't usually put much stock in this fortune telling, future seeing, mumbo jumbo and stuff like this has the same properties as a certain asian cookie we all know and love, but since I saw one of these videos while on a 'Whisper/relaxation video" kick I figured "Eh, what the hey let's try it out for giggles." Well the nice lady got around to mine and now i'm going to break down how it fits me. Watch the video first then read my breakdown of it.




I know these things are always general and vague but it's fun to spin it to your own life and actually let it speak for what it is. So here we go in order of how she did the "reading"

Overview: Birth and rebirth. Considering my issues with care and awareness huh? Yeah that seems good. I personally could've learned that from Bruce Lee quotes but hey it's all good. Very good advice. Now to keep going. Will must be clear and controlled and motives correct. Now we're talkin! As far as college stuff goes I'm between ISU and Purdue. I've made the excuse that I need to stay and go to ISU so I can be with my family. Which is true. However my honest motive for staying home is that living with a room mate scares the ever lovin bajeezus out of me and nothing anyone can say to me is going to change that. I want my own space with no one else sleeping within 8 feet of me unless the other person is a girl and in bed with me because we've fostered that kind of relationship/had a drunken good time. Moving on!

'any dark corners should be cleansed and this must be carried out dilligently and possibly with expert help' There have been some things I've been wanting to tell people about how I feel and I haven't at risk of hurting them and myself. In particular a certain couple broke up and I sided with the boyfriend because he was legitamately in the right and I kinda just stopped talking to the girl. However this girl is a good friend of mine as well and It's not in my nature to just stop talking to people. However I may as well just talk to her as it'l be a trivial thing but I just feel like I'm committing some form of betrayal that a younger, less hairy, me wouldn't think twice about because he just wants to be friends with everyone. Expert help. Hmmm...well looks like i'll have to assemble the two, possibly three, people I trust well enough to actually help me out in such matters. Although that doesn't bother me. I'd honestly have 3 insanely close friends than a million acquaintences any day. "Modesty, patience, fairness and generosity are called for here" O_O Well S*** i'm screwed. Modesty = only during insecurities. Patience = Yeah the eff right. Fairness = only gets the ball rolling so far up the hill. and Generosity = ...oh...ok so I've got one. I guess one and a half with fairness.

Challenge: My challenge and overview go hand in hand? FRIKKIN SCHWEET. The old way has come to an end. I do the same method for each situation and nothing works out. BY JOVE SHE'S FIGURED IT OUT! No joke I was amused when I heard this because I knew that I was doing the same stuff and things kept being crappy but I guess I forgot Mr. Engle's famous phrase of "If you don't like what you're gettin, change what you're doin." Also I focus on the past and worry about the future waaay too much (less is in future and more is in regret of past and how it may have turned out differently in my millions of 'what if' scenarios that i cook up in my noodle).

I can see negative occurences as bad luck (as I usually do. although I make it karmaic and have even coined a phrase with myself of 'preemptive karma' where i'm being punished for what i haven't done yet) or see them as hurdles. hmm... I actually never thought of that. I guess my intense rage and short temper get the better of me a lot of the time. "Stay centered, see the humor, and keep your faith firm." Things I don't do at all. I'm constantly bouncing mentally, despite it being my career of choice I get way too serious sometimes, and keeping faith firm gives way to cynicism and sarcasm a lot of the time with me. Fullblown pessimism that's where it's at baby! Optimism and seeing the silver lining is often only used by me to brighten someone ELSE's day, or when I'm covering for legit emotional and mental torment.

Action called for: Don't get over-emotional either way. Legit. I can get waay too happy, angry, nervous, and sad. Observe the pain and stay with it and don't pretend like it isn't happening? BONZA! I've never done that before. I tried once but it only led to dwelling on uncontrollable circumstances. Guess I should just let it go but not just not think about it. Too many times something bad will come up and BOOM headphones go in or the game turns on. I get lost in my fantasy worlds and neglect the problems of my own. Riots, cancer, signs of the apocolypse, what have you. If it involves massive death, depression, or worry: I usually make a joke about it or deny it's very existence. One huge one in particular: "Oh grandpa isn't that bad! Sure he has 'early signs' of alzheimers but he's still pretty quick." That's an argument that's steadily losing water by the day. He's to the point where he can barely drive.

Not to mention my grandma can't care for him and Sandy much longer. and if gradma goes and grandpa has to be put in a nursing home or dies as well. My mom can't take proper care of my aunt sandy like my grandma has. She just doesn't have the kind of patience to take care of her needs AND put up with my dad who's a veritable powder keg when he's not all Zoloft'd up. And on his days off from work guess what medication he chooses not to take? If you guessed pills for the diabeetus you're poorly mistaken. Add his bipolar disorder onto his jacked up childhood from the abuse he got from my other grandma (his mom) and his lack of a stable father figure til his mid teens and well...yeah. Let's just hope the thing about kids growing up to parent like their parent's doesn't exactly hold water. I, for one, don't want to catch myself forcing my children to watch as I smash their stuff with a baseball bat for reasons they won't be able to comprehend (or even find out about in my and my brother's case) until they're 17 and 20 respectively. Then again I think my uncle Mark has had enough of an influence on my character to allow me to realize who I want to emulate, that and I'm pretty sure my wife won't cheat on me...yeah...it might be blunt but there it is. Bonus points to dad for staying with her (mostly because my grandpa, another man whom I'd like to model my life after and my dad's stepdad/only actual stable father figure told him that my mom was naiive and to forgive her) but going all A-rod on plastic toys and taking it out on us was, needless to say, uncalled for. All I'm saying is that there's a reason rocks aren't sentient. Speaking of staying with her, my other huge conundrum is that he constantly uses divorce as a weapon against her during arguments and she always says how when josh and I are gone that she's leaving his ass to the point where I just want to be all like
















Whew, big weight on my mind just thrown onto a page...HIGHSCORE!
I feel it should also be noted that they don't fight all the time. It's just that when they do it's all out war. Guess I need to be dilligent and try and keep the peace before they unleash the dragon on each other.

Overall this basically told me that I need to focus on myself and my own growth in the here and now. I'm changing as I grow and also consciously changing as I see my problem and work to overcome it. Stay calm, say what I feel, don't ingnore my problems, and worry about myself before I scatter my mind in fifty different places. Shouldn't be that hard, but it won't be that easy. One day at a time is all the speed I need. Time to begin the reconstruction. This is gonna be a blasty blast.

post no-facebook

welll i gave up on friday night. i found that i didn't have trouble staying off facebook and to be honest the fact that i told people i was doing the challenge kind of ruined it for me as people knew i wouldn't be on. with the exceptions of my brother being his usual douchey self i didn't catch crap for ending the challenge early. mostly because no one cares, so neither did i. uhh that's it. now for a deeper post comin up about a youtube video that is of some contemplation to me.

days 2-4 (tues, wed, thurs)

ok here's the overview.

Tuesday - went home, played some Sonic Adventure 2 (and beat it XD ), ate dinner, went to bed at like 7:30, woke up at 11 and immediately went back to sleep, woke up at 4, back to sleep, woke up at 6:45 then got dressed for school. pretty easy day with no FB besides a few good quotes that would've been status-able.

Wednesday - School was alright. Despite not doing my homework I was able to get it done during 1st hour in Econ. Came home, got on AIM and connected it to Facebook which I hope doesn't count as getting on facebook. Especially since i posted a status to facebook expressing my love for loopholes that allow me to be on FB Chat without being on facebook...but i didn't see anyone else's status or wall posts and I still have no knowledge of notifications other than what people have told me so I guess I'm still in the clear. I was also on AIM for only 3 minutes so I guess it's not that bad. got a shower, ate dinner, and went to bed with yet another night of no homework getting done.

Thursday - Joseph and Alla told me it DID count today and claimed I invalidated the experiment. However Kristan told me it didn't and her opinion trumps both of them...especially when it agrees with mine. ;) funny how that works eh? All I have to do tonight is a paper for econ and I'm done. Despite feeling lazier by replacing facebook with sleep, I'm feelin pretty good about this whole thing. North/South game tomorrow night, then my little cousin is turning 5 on saturday ^_^ Add a side of maybe going to Kara's to help her with homework/watch a movie and I've got a pretty good weekend in store. With all this stuff I might just forget all about facebook entirely and just not get on this Sunday like I planned.